There are fifteen poems in the GCSE Love and Relationships anthology.

For your exam, you will be given one poem in full, printed on the page, and you will be asked to compare this poem to another from the anthology.

All of the GCSE English Literature course is closed-book, meaning that you will need to learn at least three lines from each poem.

It is possible to get top marks for this question by making sure that you know the following:

• What the poem is about

• What the poem means

• The methods the poet uses to convey their message

• The links between the ideas of other poems in the anthology

Synopsis

This section includes:

• A general overview of the poem

• A detailed look at the poem line-by-line

• Analysis of the poem, giving Carol Ann Duffy’s intention and message

A General Overview of the Poem

Before You Were Mine by Carol Ann Duffy is a direct address to the poet’s mother, reflecting on her life both before and after becoming a parent. Duffy explores the adult child’s imagined perspective of her mother as a young, vibrant woman, full of freedom and spontaneity. This contrast highlights how the responsibilities of parenthood can be restrictive, altering the mother’s identity and sense of independence.

Line-by-Line

I’m ten years away from the corner you laugh on

with your pals, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff.

The poem opens with the speaker directly addressing their mother.

The mother is meeting friends on a street corner.

However, we learn that the speaker has not yet been born at this point in time.

The opening description uses the colloquialism ‘pals’ to show the youthful nature of the mother before she had children.

The three of you bend from the waist, holding

each other, or your knees, and shriek at the pavement.

Here, we see a description of the younger mother that focuses on how much fun she is having.

There is a vibrancy to the mother here – before she had children, she was independent and free

Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. Marilyn.

The speaker invokes the spirit of Marilyn Monroe – a famous actress, known for her beauty and talents – tragically, her life was cut short – Duffy implying that motherhood takes your youth and vitality away from you.

I’m not here yet. The thought of me doesn’t occur

in the ballroom with the thousand eyes, the fizzy, movie tomorrows

The speaker continues to remind us that they were not yet born.

Her mother has no responsibilities – she is just focused on having fun.

We have vivid imagery of the mother as young and carefree. 

The use of ‘yet’ in ‘I’m not here yet’ acts as a foreshadowing of the arrival of the child.

the right walk home could bring. I knew you would dance

like that. Before you were mine, your Ma stands at the close

with a hiding for the late one. You reckon it’s worth it.

The speaker addresses her mother directly – we learn that the mother was punished by her own mother for being out late.

The rebelliousness of youth is invoked here – the punishment was ‘wroth it’.

Duffy shows the intimate relationship between daughter and child.

She creates an anecdote to present this youthful indiscretion.

The decade ahead of my loud, possessive yell was the best one, eh?

I remember my hands in those high-heeled red shoes, relics,

The speaker imagines forward in time, after the child has been born – the implication is that life is not as good as it once was.

She shows herself to be a possessive child.

Duffy shows the other side of motherhood – how it can feel restrictive, as you care for another person, instead of just yourself.

and now your ghost clatters toward me over George Square

till I see you, clear as scent, under the tree,

with its lights, and whose small bites on your neck, sweetheart?

The speaker addresses her mother, who we realise is dead – she is absent from her daughter’s life.

However, there is still a close relationship in the form of these imagined conversations.

This is an intimate and poignant moment – a conversation between daughter and dead mother.

Cha cha cha! You’d teach me the steps on the way home from Mass, 

stamping stars from the wrong pavement. Even then

The speaker remembers the way her mother taught her to dance on the way home from church

There is a spiritual invocation here – the kind of moments you may remember after somebody has passed away

We see the speaker was rebellious in the same way her mother was – she dances on the ‘wrong pavement’

I wanted the bold girl winking in Portobello, somewhere

in Scotland, before I was born. That glamorous love lasts

where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine.

The speaker wishes that she had the fun side of her mother so that she could have experienced all sides of her mother’s personality.

Her mother remains glamourous in her memories.

We see the daughter’s feelings here.

Writer's Methods

This section aims to support your revision by providing you with concrete and clear examples of methods that Carol Ann Duffy uses. 

Remember: methods support meaning, not the other way round. You will gain more marks focusing your essays on the big ideas of the poems and then supporting these ideas with the methods that the writer uses.

Form

Carol Ann Duffy’s Before You Were Mine is an intimate and informal conversation between the speaker and her mother. Through its conversational tone and direct address, the poem explores the responsibilities of parenthood, as the speaker reflects on her mother’s carefree youth before she became a parent.

The poem opens with the speaker addressing her mother in the past: “I’m ten years away from the corner you laugh on.” Duffy immediately transports the reader back in time, allowing the speaker to engage with her mother as she was before her child’s existence. This perspective offers a unique exploration of parenthood, emphasizing how a mother’s identity evolves after having children.

Duffy’s tone remains personal and reflective, enhanced by vivid imagery and enjambment, which contribute to the poem’s sentimental mood: “The thought of me doesn’t occur/in the ballroom with the thousand eyes.” The poem also incorporates colloquial language and personal references, such as “with your pals, Maggie McGeeney and Jean Duff,” grounding the reflection in real memories. These familiar details foster a nostalgic tone, as the speaker looks back on her mother’s youth with both admiration and an awareness of how her life changed after becoming a parent.

Structure

The poem’s regular structure reflects the speaker’s composure and measured reflection on her mother’s past. Although this is not explicitly stated in the poem, Duffy has mentioned that it was inspired by a photograph of her mother, reinforcing its reflective tone. The poem conveys a pragmatic acceptance of motherhood, as the speaker acknowledges the changes in her mother’s life after becoming a parent.

Before You Were Mine consists of four regular stanzas with similar line lengths, reinforcing a sense of stability and control. The lack of a rhyme scheme enhances the poem’s natural, conversational flow, while the use of caesura adds dramatic emphasis: “I’m not here yet. The thought of me” and “Cha Cha Cha! You’d teach me the steps.” These pauses mirror the speaker’s reflective and nostalgic tone, highlighting the contrast between the mother’s youthful freedom and her later responsibilities.

Duffy presents the speaker’s composure to convey a sense of acceptance, despite the emotional distance between mother and daughter. The speaker remains calm as she recalls her mother’s past, using natural speech rhythms and deliberate breaks to emphasize her reflection. The poem begins and ends with images of the mother laughing before becoming a parent, framing the narrative within the speaker’s wistful admiration. The use of present tense verbs, “ten years away from that corner you laugh on” and “where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine,” suggests that these moments continue to exist, but only in memory. The poem’s conclusion implies that the mother’s vibrant, carefree nature faded after her daughter’s birth, yet Duffy presents this not with resentment, but with a sympathetic acceptance of the realities of motherhood.

Language

Carol Ann Duffy uses vivid imagery to bring to life an imagined memory of her mother, celebrating her as an independent woman beyond her role as a parent. The poem’s informal tone reflects the intimate bond between mother and child, while rich, evocative imagery portrays her mother’s youth as vibrant and full of excitement. Duffy draws a glamorous parallel between her mother and Marilyn Monroe, reinforcing her youthful energy and allure: “Your polka-dot dress blows round your legs. Marilyn.”

The speaker envisions her mother’s future as exhilarating, describing “the fizzy, movie tomorrows” to emphasize the sense of adventure and possibility before motherhood. This contrast highlights how her mother’s life was once filled with freedom, implying that becoming a parent inevitably altered her independence.

Duffy also uses colloquial language and direct references to capture her mother’s rebellious nature: “your Ma stands at the close/with a hiding for the late one. You reckon it’s worth it.” This moment presents the mother as spirited and carefree, even in the face of consequences. By depicting her as someone who was once punished for her rebellious streak, Duffy evokes a sympathetic perspective, suggesting an understanding of how societal expectations constrained her mother’s youthful freedom.

However, in the final stanzas, the speaker shifts focus to her mother’s later life as a parent: “on the way home from Mass, stamping stars from the wrong pavement.” This image suggests that, despite her responsibilities, her mother’s spirit and individuality remain intact. Through this, Duffy presents a loving and positive depiction of her mother, reinforcing the deep admiration between them.

The poem also explores the possessive nature of motherhood through language that suggests the weight of parental responsibility. The repeated phrase “Before you were mine” underscores the ongoing nature of this emotional claim, while the speaker’s playful sarcasm highlights the consuming role of motherhood: “my loud, possessive yell was the best one, eh?” Duffy’s use of possessive pronouns throughout the poem reflects the relentless demands of raising a child, acknowledging the inevitable changes that come with becoming a mother.

Context

At MyEdSpace, we use this analogy to discuss context – ketchup, salt and chips.

If you ordered a portion of chips, and asked for salt, you wouldn’t then dump the salt into the corner of your chips and start dipping each individual chip into the salt. 

When you put salt on your chips, you sprinkle it over, sparingly, so as to give a good coverage of salt across the chips as a whole. Context is just like salt on chips. 

Context is not ketchup – because it would be appropriate to squeeze ketchup into the corner of your plate and dip each chip in (and in fact, that is advised).

So when you’re including contextual information in your essays, sprinkle it across the essay, just like you sprinkle salt on your chips.

Let’s link the context to the key ideas and themes of the poem.

Family Connections

Carol Ann Duffy’s poem Before You Were Mine is part of her collection Mean Time, which explores themes of childhood, memory, love, and the passage of time.

In this poem, Duffy reflects on youth and memory, imagining a moment from her mother’s past before she became a parent. References to polka-dot dresses, ballroom dance halls, and Marilyn Monroe place the mother’s teenage years in the 1950s, a time of increasing social freedom for young people.

Duffy was born in 1955, and the phrase “ten years away” suggests that the speaker may be a teenager herself when addressing her mother, adding another layer of reflection on generational change. The poem also explores the evolving concept of youth, as the 1950s marked a shift in society’s recognition of adolescence as distinct from childhood.

By depicting her mother as a rebellious young woman, “shrieking and laughing on the corner with her pals,” Duffy celebrates the newfound freedoms that young people were beginning to embrace. Her portrayal highlights the energy and excitement of youth at a time when teenagers were increasingly carving out their own identities, separate from both childhood and adulthood.

Before You Were Mine reflects on the evolving role of women and offers a subtle feminist perspective.

The speaker’s mother is depicted as a lively and confident young woman who stays out late, flirts, and enjoys attention—behaviors that, in 1950s England, would have challenged traditional expectations of femininity. At the time, women were still largely confined to domestic roles, with marriage and motherhood seen as their primary responsibilities.

Duffy’s poem presents a critical perspective on how motherhood can limit women’s freedom. By contrasting the mother’s vibrant youth with the responsibilities she later takes on, the poem highlights the sacrifices and societal pressures that shape women’s lives, offering an implicit critique of the restrictions placed on them.

Distance

Carol Ann Duffy, who served as the UK’s Poet Laureate from 2009 to 2019, wrote Before You Were Mine as a reflection on the emotional and temporal distances between parent and child.

Through a dramatised moment from her mother’s past, Duffy explores a daughter’s perspective on a younger, distant version of her mother—one she never knew firsthand. The poem conveys a pragmatic acceptance of her mother’s absence, which, in this context, is implied to be due to death. This is reinforced through the ghostly imagery: “a ghost clatters toward me over George Street.”

Despite this theme of loss, the poem remains intimate and deeply personal. Its conversational tone suggests that the mother’s presence endures through memory and reflection, emphasizing the lasting power of family bonds. The speaker’s declaration, “I see you, clear as scent,” highlights how vividly she envisions her mother, suggesting that love and memory allow their connection to transcend time.

Comparison

You are required to write an essay in your exam that is a comparison of the ideas and themes explored in two poems from the Love and Relationships anthology. Therefore, it is very important to revise the poems in pairs and to enter the exam with an idea of what poem you will choose to compare once you know what the named poem is.

'Before You Were Mine' and 'Mother, Any Distance'

Both Carol Ann Duffy’s ‘Before You Were Mine’ and Simon Armitage’s ‘Mother, Any Distance’ explore the perspectives of children reflecting on the evolving distance between parent and child, acknowledging the shifting nature of family relationships. However, while Duffy’s poem focuses on her mother’s identity before she became a parent, emphasizing her independence and past life, Armitage’s poem examines his mother’s ongoing role in his life, particularly as he moves toward independence.

Similarities:

Both poems explore the perspectives of adult children directly addressing their mothers. 

Evidence and Analysis

Duffy’s poem directly addresses her mother with an informal yet authoritative tone, reflecting the voice of an adult child recalling her mother’s younger self: “and whose small bites on your neck, sweetheart?” This conversational yet commanding tone highlights the speaker’s admiration while also asserting a sense of ownership over her mother’s past.

Similarly, Armitage’s poem is a direct address to his mother, but with a more formal approach. His use of “Mother” conveys both respect and a growing emotional distance as he transitions into adulthood.

Both speakers reflect on the deep personal bond between parent and child, yet acknowledge the inevitable distance that comes with growing up. Duffy’s speaker sees her mother as a mentor, framing the poem almost as a eulogy: “You’d teach me the steps on the way home.” Likewise, Armitage’s speaker recognizes his mother’s supportive presence in his life, illustrated through the metaphor of measurement: “You come to help me measure.” In both poems, the act of addressing the mother directly reinforces the significance of their relationship, even as it evolves over time.

Differences:

Carol Ann Duffy’s poem portrays a speaker who recognizes her mother as an individual beyond her role as a parent, appreciating her past identity and independence. In contrast, Simon Armitage’s speaker reflects on his mother’s role within his own life, focusing on her guidance and support as he moves toward independence.

Evidence and Analysis

Duffy’s speaker reflects on her mother’s imagined past before she became a parent, using vivid imagery to capture her youthful energy: “where you sparkle and waltz and laugh before you were mine.” In contrast, Armitage’s poem focuses on a specific moment in the present—when a son’s mother helps him move into his own home—symbolizing his transition to independence.

Armitage conveys his mother’s supportive role through a semantic field of measurement, emphasizing her practicality and guidance: “centimetres,” “metres,” “span.” Meanwhile, Duffy’s speaker envisions her mother as free from parental responsibilities: “The thought of me doesn’t occur.” She uses dynamic verbs like “dance,” “laugh,” and “shriek” to highlight her mother’s liberated and vibrant nature.

In contrast, Armitage’s poem is a deeply personal reflection centered on his own experience, conveyed through first-person actions: “I reach,” “I space-walk.” His mother’s role is depicted as steady and dependable, reflected in the continuous verbs “recording” and “reporting,” which suggest her ongoing presence and responsibility in his life, even as he begins to step away.